My Testimony - How I Learned The Truth
Until age 42, I was spoon-fed by preachers and religious individuals about how to become a Christian and live a Christian life. I attended church services with my parents when I was young, but it had no meaning. I attended church services because my momma told me I had to go. When I became a teenager, I stopped attending church services. Throughout my high school years and early twenties, I did about everything bad you could imagine, short of going to jail. I consider myself extremely fortunate... blessed to be alive. Although I generally meant well, I certainly did not do well. I married my lovely wife, Angie, at age 22. We seldom thought about church services right after we married... it was more about partying.
In our late twenties, we started working and hanging out with some religious friends and were learning more about God, the Bible, church, and how to live a Christian life. We started attending a Presbyterian Church, where Angie's boss, co-worker, and friend attended. Angie always left things up to me, so I was the one who would study and learn what we needed to know, and she would pretty much follow my lead. I had no problem with this and started reading the Bible, but I never studied the Bible that closely. When I read the Bible, I skimmed through it, occasionally digging a little deeper into some passages. The Bible always seemed to be confusing for me to understand for the most part. I basically just listened to what others told me and trusted them, which I learned much later in life to be a colossal mistake: playing Russian roulette with my soul.
After attending church services for a while, Angie and I eventually did what men taught us and prayed a prayer (the sinner's prayer, as most people call it) to accept Christ into our lives as our Lord and Savior. We felt like we were saved and were taught that there was no way for us to lose our salvation... that was that, and we were supposedly saved, just like that. We became members of the Presbyterian Church we were attending, and we both had a little water sprinkled on our heads to express our desire to be a part of that church. I was given a handbook to study and understand the Presbyterian doctrine. I studied them to an extent and accepted what the Presbyterians taught, although I was far from understanding it. For several years afterward, we continued to trust what we were being preached and taught. We never thought it was necessary to verify anything we were being taught. After all, the people teaching us seemed to be very sincere and well respected, so why question their wisdom and knowledge of the Bible?
For several years, we continued to attend the Presbyterian Church. In our late thirties, we moved to another city and began to attend church services less and less, and before age forty, we had all but stopped attending church services. After a couple of years of missing church services, several friends started encouraging us to be in a church somewhere... it didn't seem to matter where... we just needed to attend church. We felt like they were probably right, so we started attending a local Baptist Church and later moved to another Baptist Church. Although the Baptist churches appeared to be a little different from what we had been accustomed to (Baptist vs. Presbyterian), it did not seem to be that dramatic. While we both attended Baptist churches when we were young, we did not fully understand the Baptist doctrine, nor did we ever fully understand the Presbyterian doctrine. As I write this, I realize there is a significant difference between the two, both unscriptural, but that is a topic of another study.
After several months attending the Baptist Church, I questioned some preaching and teaching. My doubts were not because I was learning the difference between Baptist and Presbyterian, but rather because I was more interested in learning more of the truth. I had decided it was time to get serious about being a Christian and living for God. We were training for a sharing campaign (I believe it was called "Through Every Door"), and I wanted to ensure I shared the truth with others. The main focus of this sharing campaign was to get into the homes and eventually help others reach the point of praying the sinner's prayer. While I was unfamiliar with the term "sinner's prayer" being used so frequently as I was hearing it then, I had a good idea what it was because Angie and I had prayed a similar prayer years earlier. I started asking questions about the sinner's prayer, but I was not getting what I thought to be straight answers. I felt like certain people should be able to show me passages for what they were preaching and teaching. I tried to find scriptural support for the sinner's prayer for several weeks, and I could not find it. Sure, I had various preachers give me a few passages, but in order to get those passages to support praying for salvation, I would have to twist them around or take them out of context. I was getting frustrated because it was becoming apparent that this sinner's prayer was not (never has been and never will be) scriptural, yet many preachers were preaching it. I kept trying to figure it out and kept searching for answers. I prayed to God for Him to help me understand what I was supposed to understand... whatever that would be. I started looking at all the denominations, thinking maybe we should consider what the Methodists teach, what the Catholics teach, and a few other denominations. My thought was that surely one of them would be right. I was confused.
During this time, a friend of ours, Rhonda, who I also worked with, could see I was asking many questions and advised me her son-in-law, Jason, was attending preaching school. She said Jason would be visiting within the next few days and would be happy to meet with me. Jason is not a member of any denomination, so I was hesitant at first. I had read a few emails he had sent to Rhonda, and I was not in total agreement with his thinking, but I decided I would at least hear him out. I have always been a reasonably open-minded person anyway. I tried to prepare for our meeting but did not know what to expect or how to prepare, so I gathered some material and somewhat prepared for his visit.
Jason and I met together and talked for several hours. I voiced my concerns with some of what he had mentioned in his emails, and he listened. We talked a little more about our lives, and then I asked him to share his thoughts with me... or something to that effect. Jason had a Bible software program (www.e-sword.net) on a laptop computer, an Interlinear Greek-English New Testament, a Greek Lexicon, Thayer's and Strong's Greek dictionaries (all of this on his laptop), and a regular handheld King James Version Bible. He begins by showing me passages in his Bible and giving me definitions of some Greek words from the manuscript references. I kept interrupting him, trying to refute what he was saying, but I could not provide any scriptural support for my arguments. I told him things I had been taught over the years, but I could not point him to any passages that supported what I had been taught. It all boils down to the fact that I did not know as much as I thought. I found out I knew very little about the truth of the Bible. He kept showing me passages I was unaware of in the Bible. I was reading around them, and I had never heard any preacher preaching or teaching what I was reading. I could not bring myself to believe what all these passages were saying. It did not make much sense because it was so simple, even though it was not what most people I was associated with were teaching. However, I finally put my stubbornness and hard-headedness (and my pride) aside and began to put a few of these passages together. I realized they were not that complicated to understand after all. All I needed to do was read them and keep them in context. I then started asking questions, and he would point to passages for the answers. There was minimal commentary; for the most part, it was the Word of God being read and answering my questions.
I quickly realized that I had never truly studied the Scriptures as I should have. I was questioning much of what I had been taught for many years. I even doubted my salvation. However, I was excited that I was beginning to better understand a few biblical principles for once in my life. I believe I was hearing the Word of God the way it was intended to be heard, literally and truthfully. I was so intrigued that I wanted to hear more. I wanted to study these passages more and more. I believe the most important thing I learned, though, was that if I really wanted to go to heaven, I had better start seriously studying the Word of God; otherwise, I would be condemned. The reality was sinking in.
This meeting with Jason and other specific events caused me to realize that it was time for me to get down to some serious Bible study. I needed to understand on my own what God required of me to be saved (without any doubt) and what I needed to do to please Him. I started looking closer at the Scriptures and saw more passages that I had not given any attention to in the past. When I combined them with passages I had previously memorized, I began to understand more because I no longer took the memory passages out of context. I was learning that it is true that we must study ALL of the Word of God.
I was reading some passages to a preacher... passages that Jason had pointed out to me, and he tried to tell me (in so many words) that they did not mean what I was actually reading. He asked me if I would believe in a one-year preaching school student over a preacher who had already finished school and had several years of preaching experience. I told the preacher I was simply reading the Bible and only wanted to know the truth. He insisted that I was taking sides with Jason and even became hostile towards me. I believe this preacher felt this way because he could not explain away these passages, nor could he point out Scripture that would refute what Jason had taught me and what I was reading from the Bible. He could not even give me Scripture for what he believed. Instead, he chose to try and humiliate and intimidate me. You see, the point is this... I do not want to believe in Jason; I do not want to believe in that preacher; I do not even want to believe in a preacher who has ten years of schooling or one who has 40 years of preaching. I want to believe in God's Word. It was becoming apparent that if I had continued to do nothing more than trust in a preacher (man), I would have never learned the truth.
I started studying with a different intent than ever before. By no means have I become a scholar or theologian, but I certainly do not believe we have to be one to understand God's way, the truth. I have no doubt learned what it takes to be saved. After learning what God commands of us to be saved, I followed those instructions. I am now saved, not because I prayed a prayer, not because I "feel" like I am saved, but because I obeyed the gospel and followed the instructions God's Word gives us on what we must do to be saved. Am I now a perfect man without sin... hardly so. I must persevere to the end. With God's help through His Word, I can do it if I choose to. I am still learning more each day, and I am on a mission to learn as much as I can learn... a mission that I hope will not end until I go to be with the Lord.
Please join me in these studies to learn more about the truth and what one must do to be saved.
God bless you!
Sonnie Parker